Perspective

It's been a less then stellar month for us. There is the drama with the school, my resignation on November 6. The car accident on November 8. Half a dozen trips to the physical therapist. Rich's mysterious abdominal pain. Half a dozen trips to the doctor and hospital for tests, ultrasounds and finally the exploratory scope on Thursday with two biopsies. We're still waiting for those results. It all came into perspective yesterday...

Jensen stayed home from school sick. After lunch I got him comfortable on the couch before I took Anja up for her nap. I turned on the fireplace, walked over to hit "upload" on the computer and heard a scream. We figure she fell into the glass, but no one saw it happen. Her entire palm on the right hand is covered in 2nd degree burns. The sound and smell are in my memory forever. I ran to the sink, called my girlfriend Stacey to come over and she called the doctor while I held my baby under the water twisting and screaming in pain.
Stacey drove my car, as I held Anja in the backseat, to the doctor's office. I couldn't focus on what was being said so Stacey took mental notes. I couldn't watch at they pulled the dead skin from my daughters swollen hand or even talk as they asked me questions. I was in shock.
There is no prescription pain medication for a child as young as Anja to curb the searing pain that she feels unless you go to Umed for morphine. She didn't qualify because the burn was on less than 1/4 of her body. We are using Tylenol and Ibuprofen, that's it.
I will never forget the hours of sheer torture as I held my baby screaming on my lap. No song no kiss no jester of comfort would help. Only time. It took four hours. This morning her diaper was dry. She cried every ounce of liquid out last night.
There will be scars, there will be more pain. But today I am glad that it is not her face, her leg or more of her body. How does anyone survive a burn? How does a parent care for a child in that much pain? I don't know. On top of it all, you deal with the mommy guilt. She will be fine over all. Her hand still moves and she wont loose her ability to do anything. But it is still hard to see.
Perspective. I got it yesterday whether I wanted it or not.