Goodbye to grandma

(Grandma with Anja after her blessing, May 2007)

My grandma Bywater passed away today. It's been a whirlwind of life and ultimately death in the last 24 hours. Last night we were at a shower celebrating the pending birth of my cousin's baby girl when a call came that grandma had taken a dramatic turn for the worse.

I called my wonderful girlfriends at 10:45 p.m. on my way home from the shower and made arrangements for the kids to spend the morning with them so I could go say goodbye. It was so hard. What do you say when you know it will be the last moments you'll feel the warmth of her hand? What do you say when all you can think about are the things you should have done? We knew this was coming, it was a blessing but it was still hard.

(Four generations--Grandma, Dad, me and Anja, May 2007)

My children are lucky. They have built a relationship with their great grandma. Dad brought her over to dinner every other Sunday for the past five years. All of my kids know what it's like to be part of a multi-generational family. They are lucky.

(Four generations, me-6 months old-, great grandma Eichenberger-grandma's mother-, grandma and my dad)

Time stole my grandma's memory. She was so healthy, but couldn't remember our names or where she was. Then, it a cruel twist, just before Memorial Day, fate took her health. She fell and broke her hip and lost her physical ability to move freely. Her spirit quickly became a prisoner of her own mind and body. Even though she didn't communicate it, I knew she felt frustrated. (grandma and me, Easter 1975)

I didn't sleep much last night. I though about saying goodbye today and and how hard it would be. Then I realized, I said goodbye to the grandma I knew as a child many years ago. I will never forget the little house in SLC she lived in until grandpa's death. Learning to pull taffy in her kitchen and wondering how many monsters lived in her cellar. I wont forget her willingness to serve. She was a primary teacher, for the same age group, for over 20 years before they made her the secretary--which she didn't like. She wanted to teach! I'll never forget her fudge--the best in the world. There were fourth of July BBQ's, Christmas eve birthday/parties and Peach Days in Brigham City. She was a slave to traditional values. When grandpa called, she answered immediately. She worked hard and prayed hard. She raised three boys and most importantly, helped my dad make choices that shaped my future. It was my privilege to be there when, later in life, she went to the temple. Thanks grandma your 92 years influenced generation upon generation.